I would say that any time women live with men, it turns out to be a situation which extracts labor from women to benefit men. THat is, if the woman or women are not vigilant in making sure that this does not happen (which, as you correctly point out, is a form of labor in itelf). Why should this be? Why on earth should my male roommates expect me to pick up after them? We are not intimate. We have no relationship that would suggest, even in an outdated partiarchical way that I should be the one to pick up the mess. But nevertheless, there it is. Subconcsiously, they allow me to bear the brunt of making this household livable. Oh, we've talked about it. What it comes down to is that they're willing to do something when I ask but they will never exhibit the slightest initiative because "it's just not on their radar."
This, I think, has to do with how children are raised/ the society they live in. Even if a mother makes sure that her sons do as many chores as their fathers, they still see that Mom does most of the chores that they don't do, and Dad maybe mows the lawn and fixes the computer. How could they avoid making the connection- when I grow up, the women will take over and I won't have to do this shit anymore.
And even in this supposedly enlightened age, advertizing markets cleaning and cooking products to women, almost exclusively. Same thing in tv shows- men are rarely shown cleaning, and if they're cooking it's because they're getting paid big bucks to do so. Kids can't help but internalize that message. Cleaning and cooking are what women do. If I wait long enough, that woman I see hanging around here will clean up after me.
And, more's the pity, it's true. I do clean up after them.
This is not to say that I've never had a tidy male roommate (I did have one, and I fell in love with him. Come back, baby! You were wonderful!) nor that I've never had a slovenly female roommate - I have one right now. But on the whole, the women have been far tidier and more responsible than the men.
Gods, sorry for the rant. I obviously needed to get that off my chest.
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This, I think, has to do with how children are raised/ the society they live in. Even if a mother makes sure that her sons do as many chores as their fathers, they still see that Mom does most of the chores that they don't do, and Dad maybe mows the lawn and fixes the computer. How could they avoid making the connection- when I grow up, the women will take over and I won't have to do this shit anymore.
And even in this supposedly enlightened age, advertizing markets cleaning and cooking products to women, almost exclusively. Same thing in tv shows- men are rarely shown cleaning, and if they're cooking it's because they're getting paid big bucks to do so. Kids can't help but internalize that message. Cleaning and cooking are what women do. If I wait long enough, that woman I see hanging around here will clean up after me.
And, more's the pity, it's true. I do clean up after them.
This is not to say that I've never had a tidy male roommate (I did have one, and I fell in love with him. Come back, baby! You were wonderful!) nor that I've never had a slovenly female roommate - I have one right now. But on the whole, the women have been far tidier and more responsible than the men.
Gods, sorry for the rant. I obviously needed to get that off my chest.