I can quit any time! I do not have a problem!

[lolaraincoat]

Okay, so, I am powerless to control my need to read every bit and byte anywhere in the whole internet about Sarah Palin. It's not even about politics - she's like the most implausible fictional character ever, and the more I read, the less plausible she seems, and I'm fascinated.

So anyway, here are some of the my favorite random Vice-Presidential-candidate facts:

When her youngest child was born, she sent an email to her friends and family explaining that even though he has Down Syndrome, he is still "perfect." Nothing odd there, and yay for her for continuing the pregnancy and cherishing her child (pro-choice means pro-choice, not pro-eugenicist-decision-making, all right? Just my opinion of course.) It's just that Palin wrote the letter "in the voice of and signed it as 'Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father.'" according to this story in the Anchorage Daily News.

All her kids have appalling names! The youngest kid's middle name is Van because his parents are Van Halen fans! One of the others is named after an airplane! Another is named after a fishing port! And another is named after a city that never got built!

She modeled for Vogue - while pregnant!

She is more willing to throw her vulnerable family members under the national-media train than John Edwards ever was! (I don't even care about his screwing the videographer. He lost me when he decided to stay in the race while his wife went through chemo.) I think anyone likely to be morally offended by her daughter having premarital sex will be mollified by her daughter's marriage, while anyone worried by the possibility that the daughter is not making all her own reproductive and marital decisions with complete autonomy wasn't going to vote for McCain anyway. So it's a wash, politically. But what a story!

She had her ex-brother-in-law fired, and then she fired the guy who didn't fire the ex-brother-in-law fast enough! The ex-brother-in-law either did or did not use a taser on her nephew! She fired the only librarian in Wasilla, Alaska! She fired the Chief of Police too! She loves her family and she loves firing people!

She's just as confused as I am about what the Vice-President is supposed to do all day besides waiting around in case the President dies! And I'm not running for Vice President! But then, Dick Cheney was really sure what the Vice President should be doing, and look how that turned out.

She's very loyal to Wasilla, in the context of Alaskan politics, and to Alaska, now that she's on a national stage! This is great! We might end up with mid-twentieth-century-Mexican-style patria chica politics to go with our mid-twentieth-century-Mexican-style elections!

She only got a passport for the first time in 2007! eta: She used it to visit Kuwait! Thanks Heidi for that important info! /eta

She shoots polar bears! To save them from drowning because of global warming! It's mercy killing! (Okay, that last part, I made that up. She does hunt polar bears, but she does not believe that human interventions are changing the climate, and I'm guessing she would be anti-euthanasia as well, though she's pro-death-penalty so maybe not?)

eta:She may or may not have belonged to a very silly Alaska-secessionist-movement party at some point in her past! As someone who has signed on to more than one obscure and annoying-to-others political organization in my time, I say: She really is just like us! /eta

In sum, even if McCain loses, I think we can expect to see more of Sarah Palin and her family - either in national politics, or on the Jerry Springer Show. Or both.

Comments

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Really? I missed that one! That's brilliant! Where did you find it?

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

Scroll down to Question #11 and enjoy the facepalming. If I found out she also thinks the Bible was written in English I would not be the least surprised.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Wow. Thank you!

I also like her answer to Question #3, in which she supports abstinence-only education in Alaska schools (as opposed to "explicit" sex ed classes.) That didn't work out so well for her family, did it?

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

Condoms Are Evil + Boys Will Be Boys = You're On Your Own, Girlies.

[miriam-heddy.livejournal.com]

If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers, it's good enough for Sarah Palin.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

You know, I bet Ben Franklin carried condoms around. It just seems like the kind of thing he might have learned about while in Paris, and his kind of practical innovation too.

The other Founders, well, I dunno. But Franklin seems plausible.

[hederahelix.livejournal.com]

Since Franklin's illegitimate son was a loyalist to England, I bet Franklin more than once wished he'd had a condom earlier.

[fishwhistle.livejournal.com]

Well, they were founding FATHERS after all.

[mincot.livejournal.com]

But we'll blame you for it anyway ... oh, wait, we'll support you while you LEarn What It Is To Be An Adult .... facepalm.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

I gotta say, I'm not horrified by how Bristol Palin's parents appear (in public at least) to be treating her. If I believed that keeping the baby and marrying the baby's father was entirely her own decision, that would be better, of course.

[cordelia_v]

I suspect that Bristol has had very little choice at any stage. Which is not to say that she isn't fine with the proposed solution here. Who knows? But if she wasn't OK with it, I suspect she would have come under enormous pressure from her parents. Her mother's political career really forecloses the daughter's options.

I wonder if Bristol could have even obtained an abortion (had she wanted one) in Alaska without her parents' consent.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Excellent question. Here's another: are there any abortion providers within a two-hour drive from her house? Even if it's legal to do so, will they treat minors without written consent from parents?

[cordelia_v]

Well, Anchorage is within two hours of that town, no? But once you said your name was Bristol Palin (hardly a common name), I think the shit would hit the fan. Bristol would have to be an idiot not to realize that the news might leak and hurt her mother's career. IF she could even get someone to do the procedure without a parental signature.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Either she would have to be an idiot, or she would have to be very angry at her mother.

[cordelia_v]

Evidently, she was neither of those things. But I doubt she had full and free choice about all this, in the sense that you and I would define free choice.

She couldn't even give up the baby for adoption and go on with her life, because the media would be sure to dig out where the baby had gone to, and would run stories about "where the VP's first grandchild is now," etc.

Married and a baby at 17. Sarah Palin is for the fail there, as a mother. This is not a good outcome for her daughter.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I dunno where the US is with this right now, but here in Ontario "closed" adoption, where all records remain sealed and everything is anonymous forever, no longer exists. The only differences are in degrees of openness. So Bristol Palin had no choices even when it appeared that she did. It's a very sad novel.

I agree that Palin failed as a parent. Hell, I bet she would agree - though she doubtless sees her failure as her daughter's having sex before marriage, rather than in terms of the outcome.

[cordelia_v]

Well, there's never any point in kicking stuff around when you can find out the facts that are relevant to that discussion. Turns out that the Alaskan Supreme Court overturned a 10 year old parental consent law in November 2007. Palin called this decision "outrageous" and vowed to support a constitutional amendment that would re-instate parental consent laws.

So Bristol could have obtained an abortion without her consent, although her mother is working to end that option for teens. IF she could have come up with the money. Abortions aren't cheap. And then, as you said, she'd have had to be an idiot or angry at her mother, and she doesn't seem to have been.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Ah, research! thank you very much. Wow, this adds a whole 'nother chapter to that novel. Pity that Curtis Sittenfeld already kind of owns the Republican-Woman-RL gothic genre. It was wasted on Laura Bush.

Man, I would pay actual cash money to be able to read Palin's mind at a few crucial moments. Instead I'll just have to make shit up, and contribute the cash to Planned Parenthood of Alaska.

[cordelia_v]

Wow, this adds a whole 'nother chapter to that novel.

Go ahead. Do another post on this particular aspect (which is in some respects the most twisted, painful, and complicated part of all). You know you want to.

And then you can tell us exactly which moments you'd love to have been able to read Palin's mind.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

And! AND! Did you see the NY Times just now is reporting that in 2002 in Wasilla, when Palin was finishing up her final term as mayor, her step-mother-in-law ran for the job, but Palin supported her opponent who eventually won? Why the lack of family loyalty? Palin's step-mother-in-law wasn't anti-abortion.

I'd love to be reading step-mom-in-law's mind right now, tell you what.

cutting abstinence education class

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

Shame on you!

(snerk!!!!!)

Re: cutting abstinence education class

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

It's so sad! I never learned how to abstain!