I think that the way the discourse is shifting is fascinating--I read this as more or less most women will be living a good chunk of their adult life without being married to a live-in male (some of the women counted here have husbands serving in the military--or no doubt are women in the military living apart from husbands). Women who married and then outlive their spouses are counted here (women live longer than men starting in the womb). And no doubt the media has distorted the findings (just as the "women talk more than men" and "women who don't get married before forty have more chance of being short by a terrorist" back in the day!).
But--as someone born in 1955 who is ever-single and has been insisting I would be for decades to disbelief (until I got into my forties, HAH), yeah. Word. When I was a little girl, I loved my stuffed animals and the live animals and books. Baby dolls? Ick! And I took a beady self-interested look at how the women around me in the rural neighborhood worked (some outside the home in drecky jobs, some just inside the home) compared to how the men worked--and said, no way in hell, not me!
I went through some misery in my college years because the women all around me were pressuring me to behave differently toward men so I could get married because OMG I had to because they had to because we all did HOLY SHIT!
It sucked.
I became very good at scaring men away (well, using weight was negative, but showing I was smart worked very well). Amazing how easy it was back in the day to scare a man away from any romantic/sexual interest (and the media very nicely posted all the things you should NOT do, so you didn't even have to make them up yourself).
I am incredibly happy in what is now going on um 12 years? non-sexual partnership with Entwife which involves cats, dogs, lots and lots and lots of books, fair distribution of chores (we know it's fair because when one of us leaves, the workload for the other doubles, and we appreciate her when she comes home!), and collaborate professional work.
INteresting post at one of the feminst blogs (pandagon?) the other day comparing satisfactio in marriage between now and earlier--and it seems likely that a greater percentage of married people are happier these days (esp. women) because ther's more CHOICE, you're not forced into marriage due to pregnancy (as my grandparents were), you don't have to stay in marriage no matter what--so marriage as an institution might in some ways be stronger (despite the fundies' fears) because of well CHOICE.
no subject
But--as someone born in 1955 who is ever-single and has been insisting I would be for decades to disbelief (until I got into my forties, HAH), yeah. Word. When I was a little girl, I loved my stuffed animals and the live animals and books. Baby dolls? Ick! And I took a beady self-interested look at how the women around me in the rural neighborhood worked (some outside the home in drecky jobs, some just inside the home) compared to how the men worked--and said, no way in hell, not me!
I went through some misery in my college years because the women all around me were pressuring me to behave differently toward men so I could get married because OMG I had to because they had to because we all did HOLY SHIT!
It sucked.
I became very good at scaring men away (well, using weight was negative, but showing I was smart worked very well). Amazing how easy it was back in the day to scare a man away from any romantic/sexual interest (and the media very nicely posted all the things you should NOT do, so you didn't even have to make them up yourself).
I am incredibly happy in what is now going on um 12 years? non-sexual partnership with Entwife which involves cats, dogs, lots and lots and lots of books, fair distribution of chores (we know it's fair because when one of us leaves, the workload for the other doubles, and we appreciate her when she comes home!), and collaborate professional work.
INteresting post at one of the feminst blogs (pandagon?) the other day comparing satisfactio in marriage between now and earlier--and it seems likely that a greater percentage of married people are happier these days (esp. women) because ther's more CHOICE, you're not forced into marriage due to pregnancy (as my grandparents were), you don't have to stay in marriage no matter what--so marriage as an institution might in some ways be stronger (despite the fundies' fears) because of well CHOICE.
Radical concept, eh?