verbatim: I visit a specialist; some days later, we do our chores

grim-faced neurologist: I'm just checking your reflexes here ...

*whacks right knee with hammer*

grim-faced neurologist: Hmmmm.

*whacks left knee with hammer, harder*

me: ow?

grim-faced neurologist: Hmmm.

*gives right knee, then left knee, a really good thwacking*

me: Hey! Ow!

grim-faced neurologist: You don't seem to have any reflexes.

me: And yet I'm not dead.

grim-faced neurologist, agreeably: Funny that.

*************************

*fishwhistle, distraught, enters kitchen, clutching scrap paper and mechanical pencil*

Me: Is something wrong?

fishwhistle: You have to help me!

Me, suspiciously: Um ...

fishwhistle: I know I have to do the shopping, but --

Me: Yes?

fishwhistle: It's the list! I can't -- it's too -- I have shopping list writer's block!