In which the obvious is news to me

[lolaraincoat]

So I'm writing not one but two bad guys for hp_dungeons, a RPG/soap opera whose recent developments are best explained in cartoon form, over here and it disturbs me -- to put it mildly -- to find all that awfulness in my head and put it on the screen. I didn't know there was any part of me that was so ... so ... nasty, you know?

I mean, I've been voicing Charlie Weasley for a year now, and he's a really nice guy (and all the sweetest bits of Charlie's character come straight from observation of fishwhistle so I can't even claim that Charlie's niceness makes up for my evil characters' meanness, because it's not mine) but this is -- different. I'm seriously unnerved.

Fanfic authors, has this ever happened to any of you? And if so, what did you do about it?

Comments

[spiderine.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, I have *Bella* in my head.

Think of it as a catharsis. Get all your worst urges out of your head and onto the screen. It's fiction. Some people write rape fic, chan fic, torture fic. Some people write horror stories. They're still nice, good, decent people! (As far as I know. Heh.)

Have fun with it. After all, villains are necessary to any good story. And everyone knows they get all the best dialog! :D

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

See, in whatever part of me does the thinking, I know that. And I'm so grateful to the writers who do that and thus give us all the great villians, like your Bella.

It's just ... when it's me ... when that part of me that's hateful gets out there where I have to look at it ... ewwwwwwww.

That's completely unreasonable and unfair and dumb too. But right now I'm just kind of stuck with the feeling of ick! ugh! yuck!, you know?